Best Lesbian Dating Sites 2024 in New Zealand

Members 8,000
Gender proportion

60 %
40 %
  • Dating site for lesbians looking to find friendship and love
  • Comes with free-to-download mobile app
  • Messaging is a premium feature
  • Offers Instant Messaging function for easier interactions
  • "Online now" feature is available

Members 2,000
Gender proportion

35 %
65 %
30 %
  • A dating site perfect for lesbian singles and other members of the LGBTQ+ community
  • Claims to have over 1.8 million members worldwide
  • Comes with a free-to-download mobile app for iOS and Android users
  • Offers several communication features
  • Most users are subscribed to a Premium Membership

Members 400,000
Gender proportion

37 %
63 %
  • Many lesbian singles looking for casual affairs
  • Signing up for an account is free and easy
  • Large pool of members for higher chances of finding a date
  • Tons of special features and added functionality
  • Scams and fake accounts can easily get in
  • Not-so-easy layout for both app and website

Looking for a Lesbian date but don't know where to start?

Looking for a love partner can create anxiety and challenges for many. Lesbians might find this even more challenging because it’s hard to determine a person's sexual preferences right away.

This has led to the rise of specific meeting spots for Lesbians to cut through the guesswork of determining if someone is interested in Lesbian dating. In recent years, numerous online dating sites and apps have emerged, providing great ways for lesbians to meet.

These platforms have become large Lesbian online communities and are often the first choice for those searching for a partner.

lesbian flag

Still, these dating services aren’t completely free of problems. It can be frustrating to deal with a dating site that purports to be open to all orientations but then shows biases toward straight individuals. Watching for certain red flags can help you choose a partner who is right for you.

Are you...

  • ...a Lesbian single wanting to meet the love of your life finally?
  • ...a bicurious woman wondering what it's like to have a Lesbian girlfriend?
  • ...a straight girl who wants to try out a relationship with a Lesbian?

Whether you have only come out to yourself, or you are living openly as a Lesbian for some time now, you have found the right place to start! If you're not sure where to begin, keep on reading as we will tell you all about the things that you should know about dating Lesbians and the online dating sites specifically tailored for them.

Common misconceptions about Lesbians

Lesbians may share a label, but not everyone is similar to one another. Lesbians can be diverse in cultures too. Here are some of the most common misconceptions hurled against lesbians that we need to debunk:

  • Lesbians are all super athletic

Not every lesbian you meet likes to play softball, but most of them enjoy watching sports--just like everyone else.

  • Lesbians hate men

A lot of lesbians have male friends. A lesbian, like everyone else from another sexual orientation, can hate a person for their personality, but never for their gender.

  • Butch lesbians want to be men

No, they don't. Butch lesbians are masculine women. A female who identifies as a man may take steps to transition into a man. He will then be called a trans man.

  • It is easier to be in a lesbian relationship because women understand each other

Every relationship is complex in its own way. Assuming that lesbians have it more comfortable because they have the same biological gender is problematic.

What is Lesbian love?

Your stomach suddenly leaps, your heart begins to race, it's unusual that you can't swallow and your palms are all sweaty--Lesbian love is just similar to heterosexual love in every way. The only difference is that it happens to two women in love.

For a long time, online dating was an exclusive club for straight people. In the past, there are even some controversies of a few dating sites and apps slammed for being notoriously homophobic and excluding the LGBTQ community in their platforms.

Now, many queer-only apps are starting to gain attention, while the older established apps are emerging with better queer-friendly features. Get ready to swipe and match!

Best Places to Meet Lesbian and Bisexual Women

Especially when you're just coming out of the closet, it can be hard to know where to meet other lesbians or bisexual women. If you're not sure yet where to begin, start with this list of the places where you're most likely to run into other lesbians and bisexual women. 

  • Lesbian bars or club

Generally speaking, Lesbian bars are not as typical as gay bars (or straight bars), but they exist, and people do have a good time visiting these. You can do a quick online search of the best Lesbian bars nearest to your location to find one.

  • Pride Events and LGBTQ Advocacy Groups

The pride parade and similar events are an excellent way to look for like-minded singles. A lot of love stories started here too. Walk alongside a community who share the same values as you, and who knew? Your soulmate might be at the end of the rainbow flag.

  • Try your luck at softball events

Are all softball players lesbians? Of course not! But this stereotype exists for a reason. A softball event isn't a wrong way to introduce yourself to lesbian friends and date prospects.

  • Lesbian dating sites and apps

Expand your social networks through lesbian dating and apps. Dating websites allow you to search a pool of singles to find precisely the sort of person who jives with your personality.

Lesbian dating rules

There are a right way and tons of wrong way to start dating and begin a relationship, especially when you are dating someone of the same sex. Stick to these unwritten rules of lesbian dating to make your love life happier and a lot less crazy.

  • Take your time

Especially if you just came out of the closet, dating can be quite the alien territory. You don't need to date the first woman that gets your attention.

  • Always be prepared

Just be dating ready: take time to prepare your online dating profile, go out carrying your best self, and be proud of who you are. This makes you prepared for anything that can happen, or anyone you can meet, along the way.

  • Always listen

Use lots of words, get into the details, and most importantly, be sincere. Having a conversation is essential to most women.

Signs a Lesbian likes you

Sometimes, it's hard to tell if she likes you, or if she's nice. This is a tricky one--different people respond differently to someone's feelings. The surest way to know for sure is to take a deep breath and directly ask her, but before you do that, here are the indications you need to look out for:

  • She is unusually awkward in your presence

This applies to a person whom you are only starting to get to know. You will feel something different in the air when you are together, but not the annoying type, it's a rather exciting one.

lesbian baby
  • She remembers the small details about you

From the weirdest things you said to your favourite board game, she makes an effort to remember the little things and share them with you.

  • She likes to spend time with you, even in group situations

You'll know she's utterly absorbed in you if she's making all the effort to be where you are and hang out with you.

  • Gauge good manners vs romantic intentions

There's a grey area between a person being polite because it is her personality vs someone who is signalling that she wants to build a romantic connection with you.  Gauge by comparing how she treats you and your other friends.

  • Read body language

You can tell she likes you through eye contact and the way her feet moves when talking to you. If she keeps being nervous around you, it means that she is suppressing a feeling that could be an attraction.

How do Lesbian dating sites work

For the most part, joining dating sites as a lesbian still involves having to deal with men. Many sites will give you guys as potential mates, despite setting your preferences otherwise.

Luckily, there have been several existing dating sites and apps that are tailor-fit for the dating needs of Lesbians and women bisexuals.

Lesbian dating problems you might experience

Despite the recent improvements in lesbian dating, there are still some complications you should anticipate when using them. Here are some of those:

  • Men pose as women to join lesbian dating sites

As absurd as it can be, these men exist. Straight men pose as gay women and enter these sites for fun. This problem has already been raised among lesbian dating site developers and promised to do something about it. Nevertheless, stay vigilant about who you are going to talk to on dating sites.

  • Straight couples looking for threesomes

Somehow, straight couples think that joining lesbian dating sites is a good idea to find a female addition to their threesome fantasies. Better watch out!

  • You will meet "just for fun" straight girls at least once

Make sure that you keep your intentions known and clear, or you risk breaking your heart after falling for a girl who isn't up for what you are looking for.

Who uses lesbian dating sites

You will find the following people on lesbian dating sites:

  • Lesbians
  • Bicurious women who are on the stage of "experimenting"

Straight women who are trying to answer some gnawing questions about their identity are also welcome to join, as far as dating sites' rules are concerned.

Type of Lesbians you meet on dating sites

Every person is different, and we shouldn't put everyone in an easy-to-understand box. Being a lesbian isn't all about labels, and this list is only a broad generalisation. This is certainly not the be-all and end-all of lesbian classifications, but it can help you understand specific lesbian jargons.  Here are some of the lesbian stereotypes you will meet on dating sites:

  • The lipstick lesbian

They are attracted to women, but they also love their lipstick. They like wearing dresses and wearing their hair long and flowing.

  • The butch lesbian

They are known for their usually short hair and other masculine traits. Basically, they are very tough women.

  • The Activist Lesbian

These kick-ass lesbians are the ones marching on Pride Parades, boycotting homophobic bakeries, and petitioning legislators to make a real positive change for their brothers and sisters.

  • The Sport Dyke

The Sport Dyke is a lesbian who identifies with being an athlete. You will usually see them in softball or basketball games.

Do's and dont's in Lesbian dating

There are a lot of things to be mindful of unless you want to go home disappointed. Besides, you want to leave a good impression on your date. Here are a few do's and don'ts of lesbian dating:


  • Be open about your sexuality
  • Keep conversations going
  • Listen, listen, listen!


  • Don't mention your ex-girlfriends
  • Don't blog about everything
  • Don't take her to a place where all your friends are

How to be successful in Lesbian dating

Good relationships don't just happen. They take dedication and work. The same thing is real with finding a suitable partner on dating sites. You need to know which way to go and how to work it out. Here are some tips to be successful on lesbian dating sites:

  • Dress up up your profile

Take your time writing a good bio that will reflect your personality. Add some unique details about you that's going to catch some attention. Write all about yourself: your hobbies, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, your favourite places, and even your pet's name. This way, you are channelling the real you in these dating sites.

lesbian wed
  • Upload only great photos

Choose photos that reflects who you are. It's better if you smile as it attracts positive attention. You can also share some pictures of you that show you doing your favourite activities.

  • Don't be afraid to send the message first

If you are sure that you like this person, then go for it! Messaging a lot of people is not cheating, but it's actually making your chances of finding the one higher.

Best first date practices

It's easy to be overwhelmed with expectations, feelings, hopes, excitement, and dread around first dates. Here's how you can make sure to have a good time during your first date:

  • A flower is nice

A small gift is nice, like flowers. Just don't overdo it and go as far as gifting a puppy or a kitten on your first date.

  • Avoid depressing topics

Keep the conversations light, and stray away from heavier topics. The goal of the first meeting is to gauge how compatible you are with each other. It's good to save the deeper getting to know part on your next date.

  • Keep it simple

Go for ice cream, coffee, lunch, or a simple dinner date. If things go well, you want to save some activities for the second and third dates.

  • No high expectations... yet

Keep in mind that it's the first date. Don't overwhelm your date by making long-term plans or believing that you are now "girlfriends."

  • Relax and have fun

Enjoy the first time you are together. Don't plan too much and just be your usual self.

Begin your love story here

Dating is what you make it. Dating as a lesbian is particularly difficult. It is mostly because there are no go-to women-only places to find a date. Lesbian date spots are as unique and elusive as lesbians themselves. Searching for a lesbian date can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack sometimes, but thanks to dating sites, the search has become so much easier.

To begin your journey, you can check out our recommendations to help you decide. We have all the information you need to know in one place to make searching so much easier for you. What are you waiting for? Go pursue your lady love! Author Chris Pleines
Chris Pleines
Founder of Datingscout and Author of the book "Online Dating for Dummies"
Chris founded Datingscout 15 years ago, and today he is one of the leading Online Dating Experts. He is the author of the book "Online Dating for Dummies" and the author of the Internet's largest online dating study analyzing 20 Million Profile Pictures with artificial intelligence. Chris Pleines holds a master degree in media science and appeared in numerous television interviews and publications to give expert advice as well as tips about online dating.