Best Casual Dating Sites 2023 in New Zealand
- . . . who wants to live out their erotic fantasies and satisfy their carnal needs without ever worrying about emotional constraints the next day?
- . . . who loves to have sex but doesn't want to engage in a relationship in order to get it?
- . . . who just got out of a serious relationship and is looking for a quick and easy “palate-cleanser”?
- . . . who’s bored and wants to go out on sexy and titillating adult adventures?
- . . . who’s married and is looking for something different outside the relationship?
If you tick some or all of the boxes, then you have come to the right place. Some people are on dating apps to find long-term relationships while others look for non-committal flings, hot encounters, quick fixes, and good, old adult fun. If you are one of those curious about going online for some adult action, then you might want to read this first!
Casual dating, at its very core, is satisfying your erotic needs and going out on salacious yet discreet adult adventures without ever getting tied down to anybody. You answer to nobody and can very well do as you please—satiate your every sexual fantasy without the mess of emotional attachments. Whatever your situation may be, you should never feel guilty for going online to pursue casual dating.
Here’s a news flash: there are tons of people who want the same things as you do. You just have to know where to look. Casual dating sites and apps have a much more different and straightforward approach than your average, traditional online dating services. In these, people know what they want and they want it fast.
Sounds thrilling? So, without further ado, welcome to the big, wide world of casual dating sites and erotic adventures.
- What is Casual Dating?
- Where Do You Go for Casual Dates?
- Why Do People Engage in Casual Dating?
- What Do You Actually Get from Joining Casual Dating Sites?
- How Do Casual Dating Sites and Apps Work?
- Who’s Actually Using Casual Dating Sites and Apps?
- Casual Dating Boundaries
- Sizzling Hot Issue
- Pros and Cons of Casual Dating
- How to be Successful on Casual Dating Sites
- Is Premium Worth the Money?
- Am I Fit for Casual Dating Sites?
- Final Words
What is Casual Dating?
The term “casual dating” pops up quite often when it comes to dating and relationships. It has been used ever so casually, pardon the pun, in movies, magazines, and TV shows that its meaning had become quite confusing for some people. So, what does casual dating really mean?
To put it simply, casual dating means partaking in non-exclusive casual sex with multiple partners. In fact, there are three different types of casual dating:
- No Strings Attached or Adult Dating
- Friends with Benefits
- Sex with an Ex
No strings attached or adult dating
The “no strings attached” type is the poster child for every movie or TV show plot that had been made about casual sex. This involves hooking up with a total stranger you’ve just met a few hours ago in a hookup app or at the bar.
There are also cases where you hook up with someone that has been on your radar for a while and opportunity had just come a-knocking.
Friends with Benefits
The main thing that sets it apart from other types is the first word: friends. This type of casual hookup puts friendships above all else. This entails that the person you are hooking up need not necessarily be a complete stranger. It can be an acquaintance that happens to share the same casual mindset you have when it comes to dating.
FWB or your go-to booty call can just be purely physical or it can also involve hanging out— two buds that just so happen to shag occasionally. There are even cases when the sex stops yet the friendship remains.
Sex with an Ex
After all, you just can’t spell sex without ex. There can be a lot of reasons why people have casual sex with their exes. It can be that they are feeling extra horny or perhaps, they feel that the best thing about the relationship was the mind-blowing sex.
Still, this type has the most pitfalls out of the three since there is a higher risk for backslides and resurfacing of old feelings.
Of course, casual dating is multi-faceted. While the three listed above are the most common types, casual dating can still take on other forms, depending on the boundaries set by different types of people.
Where Do You Go for Casual Dates?
The quickest and easiest way to look for one-night stands, erotic encounters, and sexy adventures is online. Join the hundreds and thousands of dating sites and apps targeted specifically for casual dating.
There, you can meet a bunch of individuals who want the same good time you are looking for. Don’t be afraid to explore your kinks and hidden sexual desires. People flock to these sites and apps just to let loose and have one hell of a story to tell.
Why Do People Engage in Casual Dating?
Too busy with work, studies, or life, in general, to find the time to date
People can be too caught up with everyday life that they have neither the time and energy to invest in a committed relationship yet the desire for intimacy and physical action is there. The best setup for them is casual dating which can be a lot easier, fits their schedule better, and less fussy to have.
Refuses to invest emotional currencies that a committed relationship asks for
Some choose not to invest emotionally and that is completely okay. Serious relationships just aren’t the top priority for them.
Admit it, committed relationships are bound to get tricky and complicated. You would need massive amounts of patience to make any relationship work. For some, that just isn’t their cup of tea. They just want adult fun without commitment.
Wanting to get back out in the dating game after a divorce or long-term relationships and see if they still “got it”
There is a good chunk in the online dating population that consists of “newly-singles.” Breakups are tough to move on from. Being on casual dating sites and receiving tons of “flirts” can be a transformative experience.
No matter how bad the divorce or the relationship had gotten, there are still tons of other people that might find you hot and attractive. This can work as an affirmation that you still got it even after being off the market for so long.
Another thing, people recovering from the loss of serious relationships tend to desire for a change of pace. This means avoiding anything that can bring on permanence and exclusivity.
For some, installing dating apps is a huge step towards moving on and getting their old confidence and mojo back. Plus, a palate-cleanser is always a welcome way to forget another one’s touch.
Wanting to heat things up in their own relationships
There is also a niche for long-time couples looking for another person to be in a casual relationship with them. A way to keep the flames of the marriage alive and burning is to break the monotony (and the monogamy!) and tired, old routines.
One surefire way of doing so is by introducing a new person to the marriage—a casual, no-commitment fling to keep things spicy and exciting once again.
To get to know one’s self better and spice up the sex life
It is a whole lot easier to meet and socialise with new people in casual dating apps and sites. People who are in the mood for something quick, easy and no strings attached go to these sites and apps just to unwind.
In a way, sleeping around have helped people pinpoint exactly what works and what doesn’t for them. Plus, people who’ve experienced dry spells generally turn to apps to stop the drought and bring forth the proverbial rain.
Wanting to cheat on their partners or experience something different outside the relationship
There are successful affair dating sites such as Ashley Madison that cater to married people. For those sexually unsatisfied in their marriage, one solution people often go to is joining casual dating sites. In these sites, they long to find the sexual fulfillment their marriage had not given them in a long time.
What Do You Actually Get from Joining Casual Dating Sites?
Here are some perks and benefits to joining casual dating sites and apps:
- Access to more potential partners
Listen, when you are on a casual dating site or an app, the sky’s the limit. The main advantage of casual dating sites is the unlimited amount of choices they can offer when it comes to age, location, and kinks. You can meet people from all types of backgrounds and career levels.
Some sites especially target women and have more women than men in their membership base. You can swipe and scroll numerous profiles to your heart’s delight and see all that they have to offer.
- Being matched with people that you are more likely to be compatible with
With casual dating sites and apps, there’s no need to be ashamed of your carnal needs and desires. There’s no need to worry about raising a few conservative eyebrows because passion is celebrated in these.
Have you ever wanted to try out roleplaying or wax play but had never gotten around to doing so because you feel that it might not be for everybody? Well, conversations about adult kinks are more than encouraged in adult sites.
You will have more chances of meeting the people who like the same things you do in bed. This is possible because of the search filters. You can narrow your search to only blondes, only gays, only couples, into specific sexual practices, etc.
So, what do we say to inhibition? Not today!
- Get to be more spontaneous
It is quite natural to be so caught up with life, work, and/or travel that being in a committed relationship just isn’t a top priority right now. Your schedule might be so erratic that you can be here for today, and gone the next.
Casual dating fits that type of lifestyle like a glove. While committed relationships can be like that of a gourmet dish that takes so long to prepare and cook, casual sex is that fast food you turn to for quick nourishment and boost.
In casual dating sites and apps, you can meet a person, set up a meeting, and have a steamy encounter in just a few clicks. No need for long introductions and nerve-wracking first dates at all!
- Be brave and live out your erotic fantasies with no strings attached
With casual dating, you can live out your erotic fantasies without feeling any guilt nor shame. You just have to find the right person who shares the same enthusiasm and you bet that there are lots of them on casual dating sites, just waiting for you to slide in their DMs. You can have as much sex as you want.
The cherry on top? Because of the no emotional attachment, rejection doesn’t feel quite as heavy. You can just brush it off and go look for other partners who’d be more than willing to partake in your naughty fantasies.
- Feel the thrill of the chase once again
If you are someone who thinks that sex has grown stale and there’s nothing you can do about it, better think twice. Casual dating sites and apps can provide the thrill of dating you didn’t know you are missing.
Experience the chase once more when talking to new people every day. These might also help you regain your confidence in the romantic department if you are someone who just got out of a long and serious commitment.
Experience feeling alive again. The best part is: you don’t have to worry about the next day or getting caught up with complicated feelings.
How Do Casual Dating Sites and Apps Work?
Casual dating sites and apps cut right through the chase. The main philosophy behind casual dating online services is: meeting people to hook up with shouldn’t be a big deal. These sites serve to take the edge off of socialising and exploring one’s physical desires. There are casual dating sites such as AdultFriendFinder that cater to your voyeuristic gratification and sexual fantasies.
Most sites and apps offer features that make communicating easier. Their main functionalities for contacting other people range from sending pre-made messages that can work as ice-breakers to sending out winks and virtual gifts.
There are also GPS-dependent casual dating apps where the only matches you’d get are those near your location to make it easier for you to plan a meetup. You can also tweak some search filters to only get matches that share your interests and kinks.
The main highlight of these “matching” apps is that the chat feature will only be enabled if the “like” is mutual. You can also avail of premium memberships that some sites and apps offer to boost your profile and get more matches. But more on that later.
Most sites also offer the possibility to only unlock photos to people the user has approved of. This makes it more safe and discreet since you don’t run the risk of being identified by people you might know in real life.
Who’s Actually Using Casual Dating Sites and Apps?
We know what some of you might be thinking—casual dating sites are for shady people looking to get laid. While that is the common perception of the majority, that isn’t necessarily true.
Truth is, there are premier dating sites such as RedHotPie and Ashley Madison that cater to academics, career-oriented people, singles, and even yes, couples.
Likewise, there are casual dating sites and apps such as C-Date that empower women in owning their sexuality by creating a safe and comfortable environment where they can use premium features for free. At absolutely no charge, women can partake in casual dating with no worries for premium costs.
Here are some of the people that found success in these sites:
- Anna, 34, is the creative genius behind an esteemed makeup and fashion brand. Being a career woman in the highly competitive creative industry, her life’s always on the go. She occasionally travels and has no time to date. Therefore, she installs casual dating apps to meet the locals in each country she had been in. Casual dating is the best fit for her fast-paced life—with great, drama-free sex to relieve the stress of her professional career.
- Richard, 47, had met Nina, 32, on Victoria Milan, six months after his divorce had been finalised. The divorce had dealt a tough blow on Richard. But ever since meeting Nina, Richard had started to regain his old confidence back. From then on, he had started to join more casual dating sites where he can meet and talk to new people. He is now starting to enjoy his bachelor life even more.
- Mark, 23, is your typical college student that wants to occasionally get laid. His surefire method of landing dates is via C-Date where he can just meet people who are the same age as him and share the same interest and background. Indeed, he calls C-Date as his wingman in meeting people near him who are just as interested in casual dates such as him.
Casual Dating Boundaries
Casual relationships aren’t meant to be permanent. Unlike the committed one, this type of relationship is fleeting and temporary. It is bound to end at some point.
Ideally, people in casual relationships are supposed to have no emotional attachments and are just there for some hot encounters.
Casual dating doesn’t necessarily mean one-time-encounters only. Sometimes, this may lead to regularly meeting someone just for sex or even several people at the same time.
Here are some boundaries and limitations ordinarily set up by both parties:
What does a casual relationship mean to a man?
When a guy partakes in a casual relationship, he is scratching an itch and addressing his sexual needs. He isn’t out there looking for love or something permanent. He does not ever want to show vulnerability with his casual partners.
Casual relationships are simple, uncomplicated, and easy to get over with. While men in casual relationships are still interested in finding love, it is very rare with people they are just casually hooking up with.
What does a casual relationship mean to a woman?
A lot of women have partaken in casual relationships successfully. With casual sex, they become more confident with their sexuality. They can express their needs and have them fulfilled. There’s no shame about it. It is a way of taking power and having the agency to get what they physically want and need.
In a way, casual sex helps them experiment in what they want without feeling obliged to have emotions attached to it. After all, stating your sexual desire can be a big part of getting to know yourself.
Sizzling Hot Issue
Unlike your traditional matchmaking or regular dating sites, casual dating sites and apps’ share of issues is much hotter and controversial. This can be due to the fact that they have much more adult themes and introduce new, unconventional ways of looking for matches.
Casual Dating Apps and the Hookup Culture
To put it bluntly, people flock to casual dating sites and apps to get laid. Because online dating sites and apps have been made to connect people quickly and easily, you will have a higher chance of success if you look for dates online.
Furthermore, these casual dating sites and apps have made hookups and casual sex so easy and accessible that you don’t go to bars anymore to score—you go to the Internet instead.
In just a few swipes or clicks, you can most definitely indulge yourself. But do keep in mind that engaging in multiple partners increases your risk of contracting STDs. All is fun and well, except when you have caught something!
So, your best bet is to still practice safety above all else. Make sure to bring protection with you at all times and actually use them. Have fun responsibly. After all, an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.
Pros and Cons of Casual Dating
Just like all things, casual dating also comes with its own list of pros and cons.
With casual dating, you can enjoy its perks such as having full calendar schedule, regaining your old confidence back after a particularly tough breakup, rekindling the passion in your sex life once again, to name a few. Experience going out on dates and socialising to your heart's desire. The best thing about this set up is, you aren't tied down and you only have yourself to prioritise. So, if you are someone, who wants to feat on the buffet that life has to offer, this might be the way to go.
However, casual dating will come with a few setbacks. There are people who will not be so casual about having multiple partners and having shallow to no emotional bond at all. It is best to be certain about what you want first before jumping the gun.
How to be Successful on Casual Dating Sites
- Post great photos of you
A clear, well-lit photo of you can help your profile get more attention and clicks. Smile for the camera and put your best foot forward for sites that show.
Also, some sites blur and anonymise the photos to protect the identity of their members. For these sites, make sure to use photos that show off the silhouette of your body to attract more members.
- Flesh out your profile
If the site or app you are registering to provides you with the option to complete your profile, do so. This will let other members know that you are credible and not some scammer. The less shady you appear to be, the better.
- Have a great bio. Be witty and show your personality
With so much competition out there, you would only have a few seconds of attention before your profile gets scrolled past. The best way to stand out is by having a great bio that shows off your personality and hopefully, can get a chuckle or two from other members.
- Set your sexual preferences right
Most sites offer the possibility to list and checkmark the things you like in bed. Sometimes, you can even create a “No” List. That way you can ensure you set the right expectations and you can browse the site for people that are into the things you like.
- Send interesting messages that they won’t be able to resist replying
Don’t send out close-ended messages such as “Hi.” You’d merely be buried underneath thousands of “Hellos.” Make sure to send a message that can lead to sexy conversations that’ll get you both in the mood.
- Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there
So, you have a great profile and even greater photos but these would be for nothing if you are too scared to interact with the other members of the site. Send message requests, flirt, and be outgoing.
- It’s okay if they don’t reply back
Once you’ve sent a message, it isn’t the end of the world if they don’t respond. Shrug it off and start anew. There are a lot of other members that would be glad to talk to you.
- Make sure that a trusted person knows where you are going
When you are planning to meet up with someone you’ve been chatting with online, make sure that somebody knows where you are going. Take some precautions and do not ever reveal any private information to strangers that might be used to harm you.
- Practice safe sex
Always practice safe sex to enjoy your escapades even more. When you go for casual dates, make sure to not only protect yourself emotionally but physically as well.
Is Premium Worth the Money?
Casual dating sites and apps generally tend to cost more than your average dating site. This is because they have the element of excitement, fun, and thrill that others simply do not have. They want you to partake in an exclusive club for like-minded adults and the only way you can get in is by paying for premium.
Casual dating sites and apps have tons of concepts and gimmicks that incur payments. For geography-based apps, you can only see matches that are near your location. If you want to set your location to other places and see the “menu” there, you’d have to upgrade.
There are also apps that provide a minimum number of matches per day. To get more matches, you’d have to subscribe. There are innovative apps where your digital footprints get deleted after an hour. Each profile self-destructs, ensuring confidentiality and discretion.
This type of app can have free trials but you’d have to pay full membership since they don’t offer any standard memberships.
While the cost might be a bit steep for some, the rewards can be as equally great. Here are the benefits of premium membership:
- More matches; more new people to meet
- Can send messages to more people
- Interact with more members; no matter what type of membership they have availed
- Get to see who likes you and who visited your profile
- Premium members are seen as legit daters instead of scammers
- You get to appear higher in search results
- You get prioritized in the sites’ customer service
Also, some sites encourage women users. They offer free premium memberships to women. This works as a win-win situation where women can get access to premium features to find people they are interested in and men meet more women in these sites.
This also ensures that women have a safe and comfortable environment where they can explore their own sexuality.
If casual dating sites are just your cup of tea, then consider availing the premium membership to sites that you know can make your casual dating experience all the more amazing.
Am I Fit for Casual Dating Sites?
Casual dating might not be one-size-fits-all. If you are still uncertain if it's the way to go for you or not, take this quiz and see if you should go for it.
Casual dating may not be for everyone. It might not be someone’s cup of Earl Grey but it might be for somebody else. Different strokes for different folks.
If you are one of the people that want to try the casual dating lifestyle, the best way to meet like-minded singles is through dating apps and sites. With so many to choose from, you will surely be needing a guide.
But don’t worry for we have you covered. Check out our reviews on different casual dating sites to know which ones are suited just for you!
Now, what are you waiting for? Let’s get to clicking!