Best Muslim Dating Sites 2023 in New Zealand
Do you recall any of these gloomy thoughts?
- ... I can’t find anyone of the same faith?
- ... he is not as supporting and clever like other Muslim men are?
- ... she is not the type of a Muslim woman I would like to marry one day?
- ... my future partner doesn’t share the same values and beliefs I have?
- ... my last hope will be dating the pre-approved match of my parents?
- ... I look outside of Muslim dating, eventually marry the wrong person, and the whole waiting was for nothing?
- ... I fall in love with someone of different faith, and my parents don’t approve it?
- ... people never stop saying ‘’marry a nice Muslim girl from a good family’’?
If at least one of the above-mentioned points is what you are going through right now, you are in the right place. We will be here to provide you with some valuable feedback!
We totally understand you. Muslim faith is strongly built on happy marriages and strong familial ties, hence you might feel the pressure to conform to the ''nice picture’’ everybody talks about.
However, have you ever felt that your expectations of your future partner are too high? And you desire about the circumstances of your meeting to be super romantic? Is it through serendipity that you might find a like-minded person at university, work or club? Is the image of your Mr. or Mrs. Perfection so explicit in your head that the possibility of someone being like that is very close to zero?
If this sounds familiar to you, then you are not alone, as millions of other Muslims are feeling the same way. All these limits leave a very tiny chance of finding someone. We are here to help you get rid of all the boundaries, and find the balance between principal and impossible expectations. At the end of the day, all it matters is the common interest at the spiritual, religious and intellectual level, strengthened by mutual love and respect, and the rest is insignificant. Moreover, we do not want you to wait for the ''right'' person to come to the ''right'' place at the ''right'' time to meet you. Instead, we want to help you make the process faster, more pleasant, and eventually rewarding.
Our instructions will be a great help for you to go through the needed stages with excitement and joy, without having to worry about anything else.
Sounds inspiring? What are you waiting for? Read on to find out how to achieve the goal you have set for yourself!
- Do you recall any of these gloomy thoughts?
- What is it like dating a Muslim?
- Traditions & Culture of Muslims
- Contradictions of Dating a Muslim
- Stereotypes about Muslim Dating and Marriage
- Halal Dating
- Tips when dating a Muslim Woman
- Tips when dating a Muslim Man
- How do Muslim Dating Sites and Apps work?
- How to be successful on Muslim Dating Sites?
- Love stories, better than any Rom-Com
- Want to make sure this is exactly what you need?
- Final Words
What is it like dating a Muslim?
Being a single Muslim can sometimes be overwhelming. Whether you are someone who dreams of sharing common culture, traditions and beliefs with your partner, or someone who doesn’t yet know what it is like dating a Muslim, but eagerly wants to find out, this is the right start for you! We will guide you through the whole process of finding your soulmate and you don’t have to worry about your parents’ matchmaking efforts anymore. First, we prepare your knowledgeability on the topic, and then structure a strategy for your success. Below you’ll get to learn about:
- Traditions & Culture of Muslims
- Contradictions of Dating a Muslim
- Stereotypes about Muslim Dating and Marriage
- Halal Dating
- Tips when dating a Muslim Woman
- Tips when dating a Muslim Man
Traditions & Culture of Muslims
Over a billion Muslims live in various parts of the world and speak different languages. They are diverse, practice different cultures, and the only thing unifying them is their faith. The religion they follow is called Islam, meaning ''submission to the will of God''. Allah is the god they worship, and Quran their holy book. Islamic architecture stands apart with its brightly colored minarets and domes, centrally located prayer halls and calligraphies. Common sayings for all Muslims over the world are their greeting ''As-Salaamu Alaykum'', wishing by ''Inshallah'' (If Allah wills), and citing Allah by ''Bismillah'' (In the name of Allah). Common old traditions in Islamic culture are:
- Men growing their beards: This tradition was present in many other religions, i.e. in Christianity and Judaism as well. Wearing a beard was linked to dignity and nobility of a man, while shaving it was perceived as a sign of shame and humiliation. This custom is not widely followed nowadays, especially among Westernised Muslims.
- Women wearing hijab, turban or headscarf: Despite the common belief, there is no religious demand for women to wear them, and this is mainly done by customary and cultural reasons. And women themselves can choose to wear them.
- Using right hand for food and drinks: We would recommend you pay attention to this on a date. This will reveal how conservative he or she is, because this is also not common among modernised Muslims.
- Praying five times a day, and taking the time for themselves during Ramadan: Hence, be patient and respectful to this.
- Family values, big and strong communities: these are the cornerstones of their social and spiritual life. Though we mention this under ''old traditions'', it doesn’t mean that contemporary Muslims do not value this, because wherever they are born or raised, this is what they all value most and long for.
- Friends, and more friends: They are strong collectively. This is what every Muslim will tell you. They enjoy spending time with their friends and are extremely generous and attentive to each other.
- Diversity: There is no typical look of what Muslims look like, despite the common stereotype. They are of different colors and shapes, speak various languages, and are spread all over the world.
However, there are traditions varying from country to country as well. For instance, in Africa, it is common putting a hand on another person’s head while greeting. While in the Middle East, Muslim men kiss each other on the cheek.
Statistics also show that almost 80% of American Muslim couples share the same belief. Some initially prefer and marry those with Islamic beliefs, while others marry non-Muslims, who later convert to Islam. However, the stereotype that the percentage of Muslim couples is near to a hundred, is totally wrong. There is a huge twenty percent of the population that marry non-Muslims, and these couples go on having their own faith and respect each other’s choices.
As far as American Muslims are concerned, they are very diverse, i.e. some are very traditional, and some have completely absorbed Western culture. You will encounter different Muslims, and not all abide by these specific rules and traditions. However, getting to know all about their culture is crucial for understanding them and having a meaningful relationship. To prevent any possible confusion upon a meeting, the best is not to assume anything about their beliefs and culture, and simply ask questions. Believe us, they will be very delighted to share a nice conversation with you.
Contradictions of Dating a Muslim
Depending on how traditional the person is, dating rules differ. Nevertheless, keeping an eye on all possible rules that exist in this culture is needed to avoid later misunderstanding and disappointment.
Traditional VS Contemporary Muslim Dating rules
Traditional relationships require dating according to the following rules:
- The couple cannot spend time alone without the constant supervision of an adult male person (usually a relative of the woman). This is to resist any possible temptation between the two.
- Dating itself doesn’t exist until engagement. Only after the couple is allowed to hold hands (kissing still prohibited).
- Quick engagements are common, because it is nearly impossible to get to know each other before.
- Dating in this phase mostly reminds a ''negotiation over the compatibility'' of the two, before they announce that they would like to marry each other.
- And before heading for serious steps, one should be ready to meet the partner’s parents, as it’s them who approves the relationship.
- Premarital intimacy is strictly prohibited. And after the marriage, couple practices a specific ritual before they engage in intercourse, i.e. men do ''ablution'' (sacred cleansing) and pray.
- Polygamy is practiced among them. Men can marry up to four women.
- Divorce is allowed. However, it happens only when it is extremely necessary.
Contemporary Muslims, on the contrary, date with no specific rules:
- The couple easily spends time together and gets to know each other.
- Both partners choose the space they want for their relationship, no hastiness, and discomfort.
- Together they decide to move their relationship to the next level when they feel ready and serious about it.
- They introduce each other to their parents when they think it is proper.
- Premarital sex is not forbidden, and couples do not implement traditional rituals before it.
- Polygamy is not practiced at all.
- Couples divorce per their own decision and reasons.
Still, it is highly unlikely that you can find any ''strictly traditional'' Muslims on online dating sites, as mostly those who sign up there look for a modern relationship, when you can spend time alone, and build trust and love as per in western culture.
However, to make sure that the person you got to contact online is compatible with you, you should get to know how traditional they are beforehand. Some may strictly follow all the rules and regulations (which is less likely), yet others follow their belief in their own way. Finding out this will be the guideline for your expectations and next steps.
Stereotypes about Muslim Dating and Marriage
Islam, like any other major religion, covers numerous modifications, sects, and level of conventions under its umbrella. Hence, knowing that someone is Muslim may tell you nothing about them. The probability you are actually dealing with the type of Muslim everybody tends to think of firsthand is unknown, hence useless to predict, not to say be assured.
Yet, people tend to make assumptions and even jump to conclusions, which very often insults the other person, and brings to the end of a potential relationship.
Common stereotypes about Muslims are:
- Muslims lack progressiveness: from politics to sport, from pop culture to art. You encounter successful Muslim professionals, ambassadors to gender equality and feminism, which is an evident proof this stereotype is unfounded.
- Muslim women are not respected and don’t share a voice in family and society: in most Muslim families, women are supposed to take care of the family, while men are responsible for support and finances. However, this is upon mutual agreement and discussion, hence, responsibilities can be shared according to the convenience of both partners. This is more cultural, rather than a religious feature, therefore for the comfort of both, it is vital to communicate efficiently and compromise.
- Muslim men love showing off their ''bling." This is mostly cultural (typical to Arabs), meaning that a man has to mention and confirm all he has achieved, otherwise it will go unnoticed.
- Muslim women are expected to be submissive, cook, clean and to be a good wife. This is very common to older generations, and it’s actively changing and is highly uncommon among younger generations. Nowadays, men appreciate other traits in a woman, i.e. how she carries herself, what she has achieved, education, and job, etc.
Like any culture, Muslim culture has its specific characteristics, which impact dating and family life as well. Among the common stereotypes mentioned above, there are some that one has to pause to think whether they are really pointing out gaps or ''faux pas-es'' in their culture, or, in fact, the opposite. An example of it can be the stereotype about Muslim men being jealous and possessive, which even Muslim women state is true, mentioning that this is the common attitude of men who are truly in love with their girlfriend and do not want to share her with anyone else. Muslim women point out that deep in their heart they expect and want their man to be jealous, and if he is not, they start worrying whether his feelings are really true and deep.
Another verified stereotype is Muslim man spoiling the woman ''as if there is no tomorrow''. Muslim women elaborate that if they dare to touch the bill in the restaurant, there will even be a war: that’s how insulted they become!
Any woman of any background will be happy to be treated like this. However, with these ''obviously optimistic'' stereotypes come also ones that are annoying to others, but never to those who know why they do that.
An instance of this is a common stereotype of Muslims, especially Arabians, being very loud and sounding angry when talking on the phone. That’s true, they are loud, but not because they are angry. It is because they are passionate, and want to reach their emotions to the other person, by not leaving any room for ''suspicions''.
Whatever stereotypes there are, whether true or not, there is one fact everyone confirms to be right, which warms the heart of even the most stone-hearted and suspicious person.
That is that the whole Muslim culture, especially in South-East Asia and Middle East, is built on an immense and unconditional generosity. Their hospitality is unlimited when you are welcomed as a guest: you are honored with a huge variety of foods and drinks, high-quality almonds, offered the host’s bed to sleep in (while they gladly sleep on the floor), and most importantly, share a lot of time with you and show they are honored to have accepted you as a guest. This is exactly how families of a couple get to meet each other, spend time together, and after some time, consider each other relatives. And when you start dating a Muslim, this is what you can anticipate from her/him, as they carry their culture inside, and always offer the best, and sometimes even more of what they have to. You will feel the deep respect from day one!
To sum up, all boundaries people create both within and between each other are, in fact, an illusion that can be eliminated just by a smile and a kind word.
In western countries, Muslims appear to be less conservative compared to those living in eastern societies. This relaxed and looser form of Muslim dating is often referred to as Halal Dating. In this case, Muslims do not expect from their parents to organise matchmaking, and neither arrange meetings with potential candidates. Rather, they approach the matter just like other Westerners do, which is signing up on dating sites, setting up dates with classmates or colleagues, etc. Accordingly, the common pressure about marriage that one will encounter in an eastern Muslim family, is not typical to the western Muslim family. Here, the matter of finding a soulmate is not at such an urge, and youth first focus on career and enjoy their single life before searching their other half.
There are still some ''unwritten rules'' that one may follow during Halal Dating:
- Believing in Allah as a fundamental principle,
- Dating with a purpose of developing the relationship towards marriage,
- Meeting at safe places,
- Dressing moderately (not vulgar),
- Avoiding physical contact and inappropriate talks.
Tips when dating a Muslim Woman
When dating a Muslim woman, you should remember that only by being direct and honest you can win her heart. They disapprove flirting and half-baked approaches. If your exes were non-Muslim, and this is new to you, you’ll find her more conservative compared to your exes. They are more likely to split the home responsibilities between you two unfairly with the majority of the cleaning tasks being assigned to her. You should understand that the reason they do so is that they have been brought up this way, and not because they adore the smell of cleanness and various species in the kitchen. Hence, your job is to at least treat this with respect and offer your help from time to time. Another obvious difference will be the conservative and shy demeanor of your date.
Another tip for you would be to remember: Put all of your chivalry and graciousness at stake when going out to a diner, if you are a Muslim as well. However, if you are not and this type of ''philosophy'' is unacceptable for you, you should make it clear, so that the woman doesn’t appear to a date with no cash on her.
Some more tips that will be helpful for you:
- Do your research homework before the meeting. Find out more of her birthplace and whether people there are strict or relaxed in terms of religion.
- Next, remember that if she is from a very conservative origin. There is a high chance that she won’t consider any intimacy before marriage. However, if you are serious about her, and your future, you should discuss this with her. Do not push her to anything she might not be ready to, and respect her choice.
- You should be attentive not to offer pork or alcohol (again based on your research results).
- Keep in mind, that casual dating itself is highly uncommon, hence the Muslim woman is seeking for a future husband, and not someone to have a one-night stand with.
Tips when dating a Muslim Man
Be ready to feel like a queen beside a Muslim man, as he will be holding doors for you, holding your hand while you take a seat in the car, paying all the bills in restaurants, etc. And this is not because he thinks you are incompetent of taking care of yourself, rather he shows off his respect and generosity towards you. All you have to do is to accept this with gratitude!
Despite the widely spread stereotype that Muslim men do not like brave and intelligent women who can ''speak'' and express themselves, it’s quite the opposite. In fact, they enjoy constructive and cheerful discourses with their loved ones and perceive it as a means to learn more from each other.
When it comes to intimacy before marriage, this might be impermissible if his view on his religion is traditional. However, if it’s rather relaxed, this may not be a problem if the relationship grew to that point. In any case, this is a topic that has to be discussed between you two to be on the same page.
Western men are quite slow in evolving the relationship to the next, more serious level, and women have to coax them for a long time. And it usually takes years until the man out of the blue agrees on bringing the relationship further. Conversely, Muslim men are not slow at all, and they move the relationship to the next level as soon as the time has come: with the maturity of the relationship, trust, and love.
Here are further tips to guide you:
- Doing the research on your date’s background applies to women as well. This is because Muslim men can also put certain boundaries in the relationship according to the severeness of their religious beliefs.
- If you are non-Muslim, you should still show respect towards your Muslim partner’s religious beliefs, learn more about it, and ask questions.
- Muslim man (not very conservative one) won’t insist on you to convert to Islam, though might want to raise his children as Muslims. Of course, it may vary in western culture, and it’s more common introducing the child to the religious values of both parents. Regardless, this matter should be discussed in advance to avoid any inconvenience and to make sure this is what you both desire.
- Be sure to check if he eats pork and drinks alcohol.
How do Muslim Dating Sites and Apps work?
Recently, Muslim dating sites are gaining more and more popularity, and becoming a harbor for Muslim singles to find romantic relationships, friendship, and marriage with those who cherish Islamic faith as much as they do. Dating sites intended for Muslims only, such as Muslima.com, give the opportunity for young Muslims to be present in Muslim community, try their chances, and quickly find their match. However, general sites, such as Elite Singles, have open doors for Muslim singles as well and are also targeted at finding serious relationships.
Premium sites have an elaborate verification system to make sure the user is legitimate, and tight security to provide a safe and secure service for all users. Though you may need up to 10 minutes to sign up, the results will be satisfying: by thoroughly answering to all the questions about your beliefs, religion, hijab preferences, Halal and Salaah habits, you make sure that the system will generate good matches for you.
In most sites, you can upload at least five photos, and even post the pictures of your family and relatives.
The only ''drawback'' of most sites is that they allow messaging, viewing matches and likes for gold or premium users only, meaning that you have to consider paid options to get the most of what the site offers. Our conclusion on this is that Premium is worth the money, as the advantages you are given dramatically increase your chances of getting the result you desire.
Mobile apps are very convenient for those who are always busy and inseparable with their phone. They take up a very small space on your phone memory and offer you the same features and functionality that the website has. You can check your inbox, notifications, as well as make changes to your profile, view and upload photos.
Once you are reading this article, it means that a Muslim dating site is what you really need, hence check out our test winners below. Here you can compare the features, costs, pros and cons of the best three Muslim dating sites ,and go for the best option suitable to your budget, individual preferences and objectives:
How to be successful on Muslim Dating Sites?
Post the best photos of you
A nice smile is what you need before taking a picture. The background should be as simple as possible, not to distract the viewer from you. Wearing sunglasses is not recommended, don’t be afraid to show your face. Try to wear modest, don’t expose too much of yourself. Lighting is very important: make sure not to make a picture under artificial light. Then, you need to make sure the picture is clear and sharp, with no blurred edges. In case the dating site you chose blurs your picture to protect your identity from non-verified users, choose a photo that highlights you nicely in the silhouette. And of course, make sure to upload at least five photos from various angles, having at least two portraits.
Complete your profile
The more complete your profile looks like, the more verified and valid user you are considered. Hence, do not leave your profile incomplete, answer to all the questions that pop up on your screen and upload enough photos of you. Also make use of free text fields to give your profile visitors an even better impression of yourself.
Make sure to set your preferences right
All the Muslim dating sites want to make sure they offer you the best matches according to your personality, beliefs, habits, etc. Hence, when you are asked about those values that are of high importance to you, such as ''How religious you are?'', ''What are your hijab preferences'', ''What are your Halal and Salaah habits?'', make sure to answer all of them correctly, and if the site allows, elaborate and interpret your views.
Be witty and smart, interesting and excited
As soon as you open your mind and soul, you’ll experience the online magic. You should yourself initiate interesting talks, have fun, find the good in people, and not be afraid to put yourself out there. Then, you’ll notice how much you’ll enjoy it and be excited for the new day.
It’s ok to receive refusals
Once you’ve decided to fight for love, there should be no disappointments and regrets left online. You didn’t receive a reply back, or someone you were chatting with suddenly disappeared? It is okay! Someone nicer will answer, who will truly appreciate the intelligent and funny conversations with you.
It’s all up to you
What outcome you will get and what your future relationship will look like is all up to you. You are the craftsman of your dating life, and it will all depend on your choices, answers, and preferences. Hence, start building your romantic life of your dreams!
Love stories, better than any Rom-Com
Love is mysterious and bizarre, strange and unusual, and it always comes when we least expect it. There is never a right time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, even when you are running to an important meeting, or fasting during Ramadan. Any rom-com, whether it's ''When Harry met Sally'' or ''Pretty Woman'', would tell us all that, but we thoroughly get to know this when experiencing ourselves.
Here we have prepared three of our best-loved love stories, which will hopefully inspire you to open your heart and mind and find your significant other right around the corner.
Nikah in the Big City
Arya, 27: ''I had already finished my education and started working as a Strategic Advertising Manager in NYC, when I suddenly understood that the only missing thing in my life was having someone to share my successes with. Having been raised in a traditional Muslim family, I have been skeptical towards online dating sites, hence it took a lot of efforts from my best friend to convince me. After five to six months of using Muslima, I found my best half, my best friend in life and faith and, to confess, I would have never imagined such an outcome''.
All of her friends received nicely embroidered postcards to their Nikah (traditional Muslim ceremony) a year after that. That was the most magical day of Arya in the Big City!
Multiple sites: One love
Aamir, 34: ''I would never let my parents choose a girlfriend for me, hence was trying my chance through eHarmony. Day by day I was getting refusals from various women and feeling down. I even started thinking of my parents’ matchmaking abilities as of a potential solution to my situation, when suddenly I found a very sweet girl on the site, however there wasn’t a match, and she didn’t respond to my messages...but she was stuck in my head. Later, to distress, I decided to try my chances on Elite Singles as well. After a while, I receive a message here from this same girl. In a month we’ll be celebrating our three-year anniversary''.
Serious love never comes on time
Asim, 29: ''I was still enjoying the blessings of my youth and wasn’t planning any serious relationship yet. However, I found pleasure in having friendly talks with other Muslim women on Muslima.com, sharing ideas on philosophy, history, and music. One of such talks gradually evolved into an extreme desire to meet the woman I was messaging over a month. Step by step I found myself fully absorbed in love, seriously thinking about marriage and having a strong family''.
Want to make sure this is exactly what you need?
Muslim Dating may not be for everyone. It is for those who highly appreciate and await for sharing the same faith and culture with their partner, and would like to educate their children the same way one day.
If you are one of these people, the best way to meet like-minded singles is through dating apps and sites. With so many to choose from, you will surely be needing a guide.
But don’t worry for we have you covered. Check out our reviews on different Muslim dating sites to know which ones are suited just for you!
Now, what are you waiting for? Let’s get to clicking!